Home And Family

Frequently while raising a child, you’ll find yourself thinking and even daydreaming about wonderful times spent with your child. But you have to put those wonderful times on hold right now. You and your child are butting heads constantly. It seems like everything is a struggle, fight and disagreement. Even when you “win” you loose because your child is hurt and filled with resentment. As a parent what are you to do?

What choices are there:

The old standby authoritarian parenting style, “You will because I said so or else…” Many frustrated parents fall back to this when it seems nothing else is working. It usually leaves both the parent and child feeling unheard and angry. In some urgent situations it is the most appropriate style.

Then there is the discussion/debate parenting style. You say do or don’t do something, your child asks “why?” You answer and your child says something else to the effect that your why is not good enough. Now what do you do? You can give in and risk loosing some of your parental authority or change parenting styles.

Every parent child relationship is unique. You probably find yourself using some combination of these. Your parenting style may not be the most important factor. The most important element is consistency.

You may be like a lot of parents finding it challenging to maintain consistency. Maintaining consistency requires discipline on your part. You may not want to blurt out the first angry punishment that comes to mind, like “you can never…” How are you going to enforce it? You have to discipline yourself to think through consequence before you speak especially when you are angry.