Parenting Vivian | 27 May 2011 04:26 pm

Divorced Parents: 3 Mistakes and 3 Solutions for Building Character in Your Child

If you’re a divorced parent, avoid these 3 mistakes and create these 3 solutions when building character in your child. Your child will reward you with respect, trust, and love.

My parents divorced. At the time my father confided, “It’s just like a woman. When a man finally puts some money aside, his wife wants half and gets a divorce.” Dad forgot his part in causing the divorce. He forgot I was female, like my mother, and he forgot I loved my mother too.

If you抮e a divorced parent, do you love your child more than you hate your ex-partner? Are you acting badly and would like to stop? Do you want to ease your child’s pain? If so, begin building character in yourself.

Half your child’s genes come from the other parent. This creates a serious bond between your child and your “ex.” When you put down your former partner, your child feels put down too. Below are 3 mistakes and 3 solutions divorced parents need to consider.

3 Mistakes Divorced Parents Need to Avoid for Building Character in Their Child:

Talking hatefully about the other parent:

This encourages your child’s support for the other parent.

This increases your child’s contempt for the things you say.

This earns your child’s disrespect for you.

Attempting to get your child to take your side:

This puts your child in the painful middle.

This causes your child to fight your attempts.

This encourages your child to take your “ex’s” side.

Fighting with your “ex” in front of your child:

This causes your child’s pain to deepen.

This fuels your child’s anger.

This increases your child’s insecurity and loneliness.

3 Solutions Divorced Parents Need to Embrace for Building Character in Their Child:

See things from your child’s viewpoint.

Hold your tongue in front of your child.

Work on building your own character.

If you’re a divorced parent remember that half your child’s genes draw from your former partner. Building character needs a balanced approach:

Let go of talking hatefully.

Let go of putting your child in the middle.

Let go of fighting in front of your child.

You’ll earn your child’s respect. You’ll earn your child’s trust. You’ll earn your child’s love. You’ll be building character too.

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