Pregnancy Vivian | 05 Jul 2011 05:13 am

How Do I Talk About My Abortion?

I had a deep, dark secret I could not share with anyone. I spent a lot of energy guarding my secret for fear of being found out. Eventually, I found a safe place to share about my abortion experience. When I look back now it seems so strange that I parked down the street from the room where we were meeting. I went around to the back door and knocked on it so I could get into the meeting. I did NOT want anyone to see me even near this meeting place. The shame that enveloped me to go get help was so much more than the shame I felt walking into the abortion clinic.

WOW! This is an incredible dis-service to women. We want to talk, We want to have permission to grieve. We are desperate to connect with other sisters who feel the same way. Mostly, though we don’t talk about our abortion decisions for fear of risking rejection, condemnation, misunderstanding or invalidation of the pain we feel. There is a natural and unavoidable grief process for choice decisions, yet there is no venue for talking about, crying or expressing any emotion about the loss.

Glamour Magazine courageously offered an article (February ’09) that will be the catalyst, I believe, for revolutionizing the way women process their choice decisions. You can read the article titled, “Abortion: The Serious Health Decision Women Aren’t Talking About Until Now.” If you have experienced an abortion and are looking for a place to talk, you might go online and read this archived article. I think it will give you much hope that things are changing for women in our culture.

Again, just know that you have permission to talk and cry about the loss you feel over your abortion. Just because it is legal doesn’t take the pain of the choice away. You can go online and type in “help after abortion” to find support groups like I did to help you reach closure over your abortion choice. You might be surprised at how many women feel the exact same way you do, yet are sitting in silence afraid to share.

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