Parenting Vivian | 20 Feb 2010 03:34 pm

Parents – 7 Keys to Raising a Can Do Kid

Give your children the greatest treasure they’ll ever have, the gift of a “Can-Do Attitude.”

Be your child’s Number One Fan

A child who has at least one responsible parent truly in her corner is more likely to do well in school and have successful and fulfilling relationships.

Teach your child to have “True” Self-Esteem

Telling a child how special, wonderful or awesome they are without earning that praise can cause a child to have “False” self-esteem. He may start to believe the world owes him a living and become depressed when he gets out into the world and doesn’t know how to cope effectively.

“True” self-esteem comes from within and can never be taken away. Instead of being protected from failure, a child needs to learn how to bounce back from it. By teaching your child how to work at a goal and achieve it, she finds out she “Can Do It” through her own efforts. That gives her the confidence she can handle anything that comes her way. She is not dependent on others’ opinion because she has the most important person’s approval – her own.

Learn the dramatic difference “intelligence” beliefs can make on your child’s life

Which do you think is true? A) Your intelligence is fixed at birth, or, B) You can become smarter through your own efforts?

The answer may be one of the most important you will ever learn when raising a “Can Do Kid”

Children who are taught intelligence is fixed at birth tend to develop a “Helpless” mindset. They shy away from challenges that might make them look not smart, which limits their achievement and satisfaction in life.

Children, who learn intelligence grows with effort and knowledge, often develop a “Mastery” oriented mindset. They see challenges as opportunities to “Grow Smarter” which stimulates them to overcome hurdles and achieve what they want.

Give praise that motivates your child to excel

Judgmental praise can cause your child to become anxious, afraid of losing your approval, or even a “praise junkie.”

Taking time to give “Can Do Recognition”, where you describe what happened and the positive impact of those actions, teaches your child that her strategies and efforts are what make the difference. That knowledge motivates her to keep going until she reaches her goals.

Find out how to give criticism your child will welcome

Criticism often alienates a child, causing her to shut you out.

“Can Do Feedback” is more likely to have your child embrace your ideas:

a. Listen while your child explains the reasoning for her actions

b. Rephrase it back to her so she knows you understand

c. Give your suggestion for how it might be done differently

d. Explain the benefits of your ideas

Discover the dangers of the reward trap

Give your child a $5.00 reward for getting an A or a pizza for reading a certain number of books and they’ll likely do what you ask, but only as long as the rewards keep coming or you are around to enforce the rules.

When children enjoy what they are learning, the reward becomes the learning itself.

You can teach your child this by taking an active interest in hearing about what your child had learned. Talk about the relevance of what she is learning. Feel free to celebrate your little one’s new knowledge, just keep the focus on what has been learned and less attention on the reward.

Help your child learn the steps to solving any problem

Being an effective problem solver is one of life’s greatest skills.

By making good problem solving a part of your children’s skills, you will help increase their confidence, self-esteem, and wise decision making. They will also get along better with friends and do better in school.

Also, did you know that one type of praise can produce self-defeating behavior and anxiety, while another can move your kids to positive action? Changing a few words can make a night and day difference in your child’s life.

If you like to get started learning how to give praise that motivates positive action while building self-esteem and confidence in your child please download my FREE Report on “The Amazing Impact of Effective Praise” at:

Comments are closed.