Parenting Vivian | 01 Sep 2010 09:26 am

Why Children Behave Badly

There are various factors which influence children’s behavior, it doesn’t just arise out of nowhere. These factors are;
1. The child’s temperament
2. Their position in the family
3. The parent’s expectations of the child

The underlying factor to our childrens behavior is their feelings. Children always feel bad, before they behave bad. It is impossible to understand or cope with the child’s behavior if we do not know what the child is saying or feeling. It is therefore important that we take the time to really listen to our children.

Very often as parents, we focus on the bad behavior and how it reflects on us, but we forget about the child and what they are feeling, this usually leads us to criticize the child an not the behavior. Usually when children are unable to make sense of their feelings they will give clues through their behavior, tone and actions. Even we as adults act out when we are in a similar situation.

All behavior needs to be understood, you can do this by asking two questions
1. What is the child trying to say by his behavior
2. What is the child feeling

In order to understand the behavior and feelings of our children we have to listen to what they are saying and the feelings that are behind their words and most importantly be aware of your own feelings. When we are aware of our own feelings, we can act more rationally and thus able to control our emotions. We will then be much calmer and can listen to what our child has to say and not just react to a situation.

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